dancing

Sometimes I kick myself because I have made so many mistakes in life, if there was an allowance of stupid things you were allowed to do I think I would have surpassed my quota by now. However, as much I sometimes would like to shake myself, maybe slap myself across the face and tell me to snap out of it, every "stupid thing" becomes a lesson. God has told me lately that I am precious, that I deserve better than what this life has already given me. Actually, I should correct that and say that I have finally heard what God has told me all my life and no longer pay any attention to the nagging little voice that lives off my failures, feeds my insecurities and is only at peace when I am at my lowest. I have found great comfort knowing that God has promised me that he is always with me, he has seen every disappointment and pain and sorrow whilst standing at my side, sometimes whilst cradling me in his arms like a babe and he has shared my triumphs, always having my back. Anni said to me today "you will never leave me will you Mum?" and I said "not if I can help it Anni, but if anything ever kept me away from you it would be alright, wouldn't it?" she just snapped back "yep, cause we'd see each other in heaven". Thank Jesus I am His, that we all are. I nearly lost myself a while ago, would have "sold my soul" for empty promises and something I thought was love and it was an important lesson because I now understand the value of waiting for God to unveil the plans he has for us and to be patient, after how many years of playing this game? I've also learnt that there is no relationship more important than the one I share with Christ, if our relationship is in good stead then I'm ready for tomorrow.